I Made it to the Gym Today...

Yes everyone, I got my lazy butt out of the bed this morning and went to the gym. Aren't you proud of me? The motivation to go was not there, but I was determined to go. By every effort of my grandfather to keep me in the house as long as possible, I escaped without harm and made it out alive. That of course is a joke, but it seems to me that when ever I am in a hurry to get somewhere that is the time he chooses to have a 20 minute discussion about potatoes or corn, you name it!

I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to use the treadmill, but it forced me away from my comfort zone and I did the elliptical. Geeze, my butt cheeks on fire tonight. I think I must have been clutching them the whole time I was on the machine.

On another note, the suggestion has been made to voice my actual weight. You know, put it out there for everyone to know. Oh my! The thought of that just makes my stomach have butterflies. I don't even think my husband knows my true weight. There are only two, sorry three, people that REALLY know that number. The question that I keep asking myself is why am I so afraid of that number? I mean, it's just that, a number. I am not going to be that number for long, at least that is not my intentions any ways. But there is shame for me behind that number. The fact that I let myself get this large. No one else has done this, just me. I guess I look at it the same way a person feels about drinking or smoking. You know its bad for you, but for some reason that STUPID little voice in your head keeps nagging the shit out of you to keep eating! I HATE that little voice. If it was of physical form, I would find it and choke the shit out of it!

Any ways, when I am ready, I am going to post my starting weight and keep you posted on the progress along the way. I am not ready for that point yet, but I am sure it will be very freeing when I finally get to that point. Hell, I am still trying to get used to wearing spandex in public. I guess you get to the point where you just have to say to yourself, "Oh the hell with it"!